"Moo-ooom? I'm stuck!"

Not exactly the phrase any mother wants to hear on saturday morning.

*

My kids were playing in my son's room, while I was vacumming the floors.

I turned off the vac to move some obstacles, and I hear faintly from the other end of the house, a whine,which could only belong to son.

"but I'll never move again!"

The sound of his voice was more what made me investigate.

He sounded scared.

My daughter comes flying out of the room as I enter,

"Um, Mom? I don't know..."

*

I enter the room, and do a quick scan, to find son.

Then I HAD to laugh.

He had somehow wedged himself between the wall and the headboard of the bottom bunk bed.

He was kneeling, his knees between the slats of the headboard, his arms over the top.

"moo-om? Mommy! I'm stuck !"

oh dear God. How the heck did you get IN there?

So I do another quick check- can you breathe ok, not smooshed?

nope not smooshed, just can't get his legs out.

are you hurt?

no, just stuck!

(at this point I will admit to thinking about getting a camera, but son's little face looked so worried, I didn't dare to leave the room again once in.)

*

NOW it somewhat stops being funny, because I am a small person.

I weigh around 110 pounds, soaking wet.

I know for a fact this bunk bed is heavy.

Its a thick, oak frame, and took Husband and I a total of 4 hours to move the thing from one room to another because of the weight.

No, I'm not sure I can pull it away from the wall, to free my son.

*

Of course at this point, the list goes through my head.

Who the heck do you call?

Husband is with out with potential customers.

Son's not hurt -to need an ambulance, or a police officer .

OH heck with it, lets give 'er a try.

*

It's true what they say about a parent's abilty to find super strength when their child is concerned.

I planted my feet the best I could ( I could forsee myself sliding and whacking myself on the bedframe) and leaned back, yank, yank, yank...

"is it moving buddy?"

kinda shakin momma. not alot.

poop.

*

ok, HEAVE this time, twice, and got the bed to budge.

Son slithers up the wall and over the frame.

Free at last...

He climbs down from the bed and comes to me, gives me a great big hug...

"mama, thank you for saving me!"

*

I think the back and leg pain I'll have the rest of the day was worth it !

Of course, now that he's out ,its funny again.

I pushed the bed back into place- which, by the way was MUCH easier than pulling-

and looked at the space he had been stuck in.

There was only about 2 0r 3 inches between the board and the wall.

I know the boy is small for his age, and yes, a bit skinny,

but WOW.

He claims it was to be his 'jail', and he was going to just stand back there.

but his legs got stuck, and it really DID become a jail.

*

a bit of insight

This has been an interesting week for me,

full of memories and nostalgia.

Having entered the world of internet 'networking', I've come across many old friends.

Friends that I've not seen,heard of, or spoken to for almost 20 years.

*

If you know me personally, it's sometimes hard to see why I am the person I am today.

I have many odd ,conflicting, characteristics.

Such as the interesting combination of loving to teach, with an uncanny taste for thrash metal music. (no, I do not combine the two!)

Some people are quick to point out my general silence when out and about, and the sudden change to a loudly voiced, passionate ,opinion.

*

Having been reflecting with these old friends, I've seen myself ,where the growth of these quirks originated .

To start with, I was born in New York. Many groan when they hear someone say this.

"oh here comes the attitude"

Yes, ok, there IS a specific attitude God decided to only grace New Yorkers with, but most hold it stable for the most part, and there is a mutual understanding between locals.

People who know me "post-NY" would have a hard time relating the experiences I had there with the person I am now.

*

Many think that as you grow and mature, over the years some events fade out, and don't have much impact on your life, simply because you may never think of it again.

I've learned that it stays with you, and becomes such a part of you-even not realizing it-that those 'irrelevant' events mold the person you become.

*

From NY, I also spent many years in Florida.

Wow. That was an adjustment I wasn't sure about!

Completely new lifestyle, different 'brand' of people.

Those people as well, added to my "me"factor , to be filed away for new quirks.

My Florida years were certainly full of different experiences, and here I learned to direct my life, by learning from my mistakes,and making the proper tweaks to change them.

*

The adjustment from Florida to Colorado was a welcomed one.

I consider it the place I truly call home.

Like everywhere else I'd lived, I was faced with another lifestyle and type of people.

There's a certain "life" energy that becomes contagious, as well as addictive!

I believe this to be where I became what is called "an adult",at least mentally.

I got married, started a family, and continued my career, and fell into the groove of the great cosmos around me.

*

One more move with my family, something I call "the last culture shock".

Coming to Tennessee made me feel my NY roots, and everything in between.

My first words upon arrival, "You're kidding, right?! where's the tv crew?"

I've adjusted well in the past 5 years, but will admit, it hasn't been the smoothest one.

I have realized, somewhere deep inside, I've been fighting the smooth, regular routine of middle life creeping up on me.

*

Being somewhat reunited with friends from all of these locations, reminds me what roles they've played in my life, and what they've molded into my persona.

There are many events I'd love to go back to, people I'd love to have a bit more time with,

and can't help but wonder what would have happened IF...

Where would we all be now with that one little IF into play?

Would we be the same people we are now?

Somehow, I highly doubt it.

*

I myself have become a melting pot of places and people,

I suppose you'll never know which you'll see in me on any given day.

I'm happy to be who I was, who I am, and who I am yet to be.

I'm grateful for the experiences I've had ,with the people I had them with,

even the bad ones.

*

After all, every one of the many roads I've chosen, has led me to be

Queen of the Nut House.

Can't possibly complain about that!

:)

The anniversary event....

And WHAT an event it was!

*

We go all we had wanted though.

A nice dinner, a room, to be out of the house, and some excitement.

Only thing we hadn't planned on was fulfilling our plans at the local ER.

*

We went to dinner at a small italian place, enjoyed a great meal, and each other.

after dinner we had planned to come home, start up the fire, and just enjoy what we have.

simple enough right?

*

when we got home, I started having horrible cramps.

within the hour, those horrible cramps turned into pain comparable to birthing labor.

I was literally curled up on the floor screaming.

the pain would come hard and sharp, then ease into a low throb.

I also learned that if i kept my left leg pulled up into my body, it was not as bad.

but if i moved that leg, all hell opened in my gut.

*

poor Hubby didn't know what to do.

I occassionally get cysts, and he asked if that was it- in which case it would pass on its own, not much we can do about it. I couldn't even answer him ,I was in so much pain.

Should i take you to the hospital?

oh GODNO!

(our hospital leaves MUCH to be desired, and if you have a deathwish, this is the place to go.)

He waited another 5 minutes and asked if he should call an ambulance-

jeez i dunno...

can you make it to the other hospital?(a two hour drive.)

NO

*

He finally couldn't stand it anymore, and I couldn't answer him. he got me up off the floor and to the truck, and how he drove with me screaming, I'll never know.

Got me to the local ER- more mega pain in the parking lot-

they kept making me walk, and it was killing me.

finally one of the nurses called or a wheelchair.

Hubby ended up signing me in becasue i was curled into a ball in the chair, with my blanket over my head, just groaning.

*

when the doc came to see me, He gave me phenegran, and then took about a gallon of blood from me- once the phenegran kicked in things got weird.

*

I don't take medication on a regular basis- so I'm considered a lightweight. I kid you not, a shot of nyquil puts me out not only for the night, but most of the next day. this phenegran bout put me into a coma.

*

then i had to answer questions.

Because of where the pain was, the number one question was "when was your last period?"

I couldn't help but laugh, and because i couldn't talk, all i'd say is NO.

baffled them to no end.

I'd had a procedure done last year- which long story short, put an end to my periods.

so since that glorious day I haven't had to even THINK of a period. The word seems alien to me.

Husband explained it, becasue even in the pain all i could do is laugh.

he said it was like watching beevis n butthead- "hehehehe you said period hehee"

jeez.

*following the comedy show, they said they'd do xrays, find out whats going on in there, obviously pregnancy not being an issue.

*

this is where I lost my first 2 hours to the phenegran.

I closed my eyes for two seconds, and all of a sudden its almost 11pm.

when I opened them again,the nurse was begging me to get up onto a table for my xrays.

I was able to do it without much pain.(thaaank you phenny!)

*

I lost another 30 minutes and woke again in the exam room.

The doc came in with a stunned look on his face.

"when was your last BM?"

huh? Idunno. day before yesterday.

his eyes got big, and he said, "ma'am, never in my years of being a doctor have I seen so MUCH poop inside one person."

I sat up and looked at Husband "WHAT the hell did he just say to me?!"

Husband says "he said you're full of sh!t"

(remember i was doped and not in my right mind, getting defensive was autopilot)

"ok doc so you're telling my my bowels are exploding or what? you think i'm FAKING this?!"

"no ma'am. I'm convinced you are in alot of pain. and you very well should be."

*

turns out, somehow my bowels compacted, and I had a falopian cyst trying to make an escape.

my compacted bowels kept said cyst form moving far- the pain was the cyst trying to push THROUGH my compacted bowels.

could have fooled me! It felt like the whole works were trying to claw out through my belly button.

*

Like I said, theres nothing to be done for the cyst, it has to move on its own. The doc advised me to go home and move my bowels- which wouldn't be as difficult now because the phenny was blocking the pain. And he was right.

*

As of this entry, the cyst is still in there, but I can feel it moving better now- the cramping is minimal, and I'm sure it won't be much longer.

I've also consumed a generous amount of stool softener.

*

so... the tally.

one dinner : great food.

one room : courtesy of our local ER

some excitement: I think the screaming pain covers that

out of the house : yea. ER for 5 hours .

anniversary : still good- My husband never left my side, and made sure i was taken care of by a hospital known for misdiagnosis and screwups- scared the hell out of him, but he made sure i was safe .

even in horrendous pain, we somehow managed to laugh through it together.

*

but I thank my lucky stars that we had kept the plans for the kids' sitter.

only in my world.