Insomnia

Insomnia :difficulty falling or staying asleep.

Generally the above definition is applied to a person not being able to settle down to go to sleep- by their own reasonings. Be it stress or a medical condition, their insomnia is not forced onto them by others.

I welcome you to the nuthouse. We don't do things by dictionary definitions, we make it up as we go.

I suffer from a type of insomia, which is somewhat unconsiously forced upon me. My Husband snores like a freight train. There are some nights I lay there and laugh, and others that I will admit to wanting to smother him with his pillow. Those who know us personally will back me up on the fact that the man can rattle walls.

I know I'm not the only woman in the world with a snoring spouse. I would like to know if there are any others out there whose spouse seems to conspire in his snoring against your sleep.

After 9 years of marriage, I have decided this is the case with my Husband. Yes, I also realize because he is asleep, and soundly at that, he is not possibly aware of his own conspiracy plans. I will stick to my claim though, because I have discovered a pattern in his sleep and snoring that screams it is doing it just for my benefit. (or could it be the insanity caused by 2 hours of rest a night for 10 years on my part?)

Each night, after the children have gone to bed, Husband and I lounge in ours and watch TV, I'll read or surf the internet, we'll talk for a while, and he'll doze off.

The snore doesn't start immediatly. like I said, it seems aimed at me. When he lays on one side, its a deep breathing,and not vocal at all. If on his back- lookout. When he dozes off he's usually laying on one side, so I don't hear a peep from him...

Until I lay down myself.

Once I am good and comfortable, close my eyes, and start to doze off, he will roll over, onto his back. like clockwork, I tell you.

If I haven't dozed far enough to ignore his movement, I can start "the count".
1...2...3...4....5.(the breath catches a little)..6.....7 aaaand... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The count never fails.

Now, if I have dozed off far enough not to count, this bear snarl roaring in my ear all of a sudden makes me jump out of my skin. I'd imagine it would be funny to watch.

A few attemps at getting him to roll back onto his side- sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes he just gets a bit angry and refuses to. If he does roll over I have a chance of getting about two hours of sleep. The no-go nights are the ones I just quit and go lay on the couch.

Ah, yes, the couch would seem a good escape .
no. it's really not.
What drives me crazy, is that the motion I make while getting a blanket and pillow stirs him enough to roll over. So he stops the snoring. Why? Because I got up. I used to lay back down and think 'ok he's done then.' but again, and every time, once i'm comfy,a 7 count ,and he starts again. never fails. It goes on for hours.

So now ,once I'm up, I just go to the couch. He stops after I get the couch set up. Great! I can try to get some sleep now. I lay down, turn off the light... nice n cozy ... close my eyes....

and hear him start snoring again. GRRR! Sometimes its as loud as being in the bed. others its just the muffled bass, which is still, like I said, enough to shake the walls.

I swear to you, people, his snore is out to get me.

By this time, I'm awake again. turn on the light, get a book to read, settle in again. snoring stops !
wait for an hour or two, good and tired, hmmm, cozy, dozing.... ZZZZZ

Let me also add, that my daughter snores when her allergies are bad, and her bedroom is off te living room. there are nights I get this torture from BOTH of them. He'll stop, she'll start, and vice vesa. there have been nights I simply sit on the couch and laugh, because their timing is perfectly synchronized every time.

Can't you see it?

I don't sleep much at night. On average I claim about 3 hours tops. The snore circus usually begins around 10:30, and the point I pass out around 3 or 4 am. just in time for the alarm to go off. But, I am a small bit blessed with working from home, and both children in school. I literally have two hours set aside every day for a nap. Its the only way I can survive.

We've tried everything out there- the throat sprays , the nose tapes, and recently a customer gave him a small pouch with a herbal mixture- she swore by it, claimed it cured her husband. oh Gimmie THAT! I had a bit of hope. ..it didn't work. all it did was make the entire house smell like mint. *sigh*.

We do, of course ,find our twisted humor to it.

One night i took a picture of him sleeping ,with my phone, and recorded the God-awful noise he was making. the next morning i combined the two into a text ,with a message of "good morning, sleep well honey?" haha. he said yes.

There are also rare occasions that Husband will fall asleep on the couch.(which we try to avoid because from the couch he's heard in every room) on one particular night, He was on the couch and snoring so horribly loud he woke our daughter.
Daughter came running , PAST her father, to our bedroom, and jumped on the bed as if the house was on fire. "mama!!mama!! theres something growling at me in my room!!!"
She was genuinely scared to death. ok, lets check it out.
we BOTH walk past her father, turn on her light and theres nothing there.
"honey I don't hear it, all I can hear is your father snor..." oh my.
I walked her to the couch ,and asked her if THAT was the growling sound she'd heard. She laughed and said yes, thats it mama. Daddy sounded like a big scary animal.

Although I can say I've found ways to deal with it, and my forced insomnia, it still makes me crazy. the timing of it all is what makes me crazy. I truly feel its somekind of conspiracy.

I am going to beg. just a little.

If anyone out there knows the total cure for snoring, PLEASE, share it. We'll try it, and let you know what happens.