Zzzzt .... Zzzzzt....

Over the years, I have nurtured an odd obsession. Please, allow me to start, well, at the beginning.

When I was a "young teen" , the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" movie was released. I remember seeing it only once. I remember only one scene.(and I'm not entirely sure that was the movie.)

It is a scene in which a person is placed into a car trunk. The person is supposedly unconscious. The killer, every time he sees the person in the trunk twitch and begin to struggle, attacks him with a cattle prod. My memory of this is vague in detail, but I remember clearly laughing my head off , because all the viewer sees is arms and legs flailing from the trunk, and the sound of ZZT-ZZZT-ZZZT.

For a while, that sound was scarier than a chainsaw. You get something of a warning from a chainsaw, that you don't from a sudden electrical shock.

I laughed, joked it off, by saying " I want one of those!!" .
It became "my line" .
"Don't make me get my cattle prod ! "
"Now do you see why I need a cattle prod?"
"ZAPPO ! "

All in good fun.

With the wonders of internet searches, I discovered I CAN have a cattle prod. (Mind you, I was having a horrible day, to have actually searched for a cattle prod, hoping it was affordable and shipped overnight. Yes, to be honest it surprised me as well. ) For $19.99 plus shipping , though more for overnight, haha, I could have one.

Even in a bad mood, I have NO intention of actually using a cattle prod on the residents, animals or any other living thing. I just want to play with the "zzt zzzt" effect.

The residents do not agree with my reasoning. They have denied my requests.

In defiance of that denial, I found a ring tone for my phone that makes my lovely ZZZT sound. In combination with the vibration mode, (in my pocket,) I have been known to flinch when my phone rings.

I continued my search. Still online, I connected with my people. I put out a plea for some kind of gadget that will make this sound. something small, that has a button. so I can put it in my pocket and sound it off when I need a "Personal-Back-Away-From-The-Warden-Alert-System" .

Also known as " You are in danger. " Zzzzzt!

I received some fun replies from my people.

This, has been one of my favorites. It is a "Hot Potat-OH". Advertised for adults only, as a novelty item. To my delight, even cheaper then an actual cattle prod.

As the classic game of hot potato goes, you pass it around until someone drops it. The classic is played with, a hot potato.

This version gives random shocks through the metal sensors in the ball. It even lights up for extra effect !!

The only downfall I found , is the warning !! You cannot use this with children under 14. The ad doesn't say how much of a shock is delivered.

Both of my children are under 14.

As I said, the goal is really NOT to hurt anyone. Something about buying this thing and one day finding my 8 year old having a seizure because he thought he'd play ball with the dog- just not too appealing.

I love my residents. they do make me crazy, but I love them, and would never intentionally harm them.

So , I am in need of a zappy SOUND maker. If you come across one in your own internet searches, please let me know .

Maybe it's a Growth Spurt, Like the Kids ?

The younger residents of the Nuthouse are known for thier growth spurts. They suddenly eat everything in sight, as often as possible, and get quite clutzy. Boy is known for hitting his head during these spurts, as Girl gets awful leg cramps and drama-itis.

We've come to consider that Lyla, AKA Girana, may also be having a growth spurt. Hey, she's the youngest at 1-1/2 years old. She's been known to get herself tangled up pretty good, and get clutzy from time to time as well. Been a while.

Why this sudden epiphany ?

Last night 'the fam' was coming over after work, and when one showed up, he said the rest were on thier way,and he had to make a call. Having a big dog who acts as if she never sees people, I put her outside to avoid adding pandemonium. (do you really think it worked ? HA)

You're thinking " she must have jumped the fence again, and now I'll sit here and read the same story again."

NO. No way she'd hop the fence with people who play with her inside.

Nope, she pranced and paced the back porch until we heard her screaming. I don't mean yiping or whining, I mean all -out, wake the neighbors, give you goosebumps doggie screaming.

I look up ,and my dog is dragging the patio table , toward the stairs, and screaming bloody murder.

I run out to see what the heck she's done now, and she had somehow gotten her paw jammed into the table base.

I suppose she was walking through the framework, and miscalculated, or thought the base was solid. She was stuck pretty good to have dragged that heavy table like that.

Having rushed into the cold to save her, I now had a major problem. I couldn't hold the base up (to avoid snapping her leg) hold the dog down (so she wouldn't eat me) AND pull her foot out.

Girl ran out behind me and I told her to go get R, who was on the phone, but was on his way anyway, having "heard the dog was possibly being eaten alive by a pack coyotes." (Seriously, this dog can scream.)

As we worked the problem, Lyla was ever so ... un-doggish. most dogs would have been snapping and biting if they are hurting that much and you try to hold them down and yank what hurts.

Lyla had lay down under us, and did not bite, but did mouth us a little, just to let us know. And screamed. oh, how the poor baby screamed.

When we got her free, R laying on her and pulling the foot out, me holding the table base up , she, being Lyla the hopping Girana, of course, hopped all over the porch, jumping up and happy whining.

yea ok you're welcome. goofy mutt.

The best part was that R had shown up when he had, or I'd have been out there holding the table and the dog in 36 degrees for about another 40 minutes until Husband came home. chances are one of the kids would have called 911 as well, which would have made this tale much more amusing,though I'm very happy it didn't go that far.

And yes, Lyla is well. I believe she must be bruised, or maybe pulled a muscle, but she is active and herself, no signs of physical trauma.. Lets not go into mental trauma, being this IS the Nuthouse.

Oh... Dog.

Dog, Dog, Dog.

AAARGH!

Remember when I said, " she only seems to jump it when she can see us walking by? "

Yes. this fun doggie update brought to you by dingaling-dog.

Last weekend the children and husband replaced and repaired the porch slats that were gnawed on. (for a price Husband was NOT happy with.)

I set her up in a spot in the basement, gave her plenty of roam -room, water and blanky, and her bone. Besides the banshee screaming she does when she can hear us leaving, it works. I hate doing it to her.

This week, the adventure continues.

I decided since she hasn't hopped the fence since my last post,I'd give her a chance. I had to run some errands and do groceries, Just didn't have the heart to tie her in the basement that long.

So I put her in the yard.

Went through the groery store, which was rediculously mobbed, being not only the week before halloween, but also the day before "the great snows". EVERYONE was there. It took a bit longer then usual.

All loaded up , I head home, anxious to find out if the dog is still in the yard, watching side streets for her because I have a horrible feeling she's not.

When I get to our street,I drive in front of the house, and glory be.

Guess-Who is sitting smack dab in the center of the front porch steps, pretty as can be, as if I'd told her to sit and stay there?

It wasn't the kids!

Dog. .
Dog, dog, dog !!!

AARGH!

I won't go into the "family politics" of the dogs in our family yet,because this is still something of a touchy subject with me , but I will say, this is not a problem I expected to have to deal with daily.

The Warden is quite displeased with at least two residents. one being part warden, the other being a tall, chewing, hopping hairball.