Mommies wear all the hats !

As a child care provider, I had to attend many trainings regularly. These were very creative sessions , with different perspectives on the 'job'.
At one particular session, the trainer said that as providers, we had to wear many hats. We were caregivers of daily needs, such as meals,and changings, playmates for games, teachers of new experiences, nurses to know when the children weren't feeling well, secretaries regarding all the paperwork....

Since becoming a Mother, I've been in many conversations which included "why don't you work?"

Moms, you know how this goes. We DO work, and hard at that.

Several Moms I know now are having some busy times, and it can get overwhelming, very quickly. Even Moms stand back from time to time and the ponder "what was I thinking?"
This blog entry is dedicated to those Moms, and any other who happen across it, because we ALL have those times.

My son and I recently had a chat about all the hats a MOM wears. We were discussing Halloween costumes for next year. He loves my "mommy" costumes. one year I wore my bathrobe and disheveled hair, some blacker under my eyes- tired mama. Another year I was Zommy- a zombie mommy. that one was a bit spookier, but still certainly got the point across!

I told him my costume next year would be a REAL mommy.
He vetoed it immediately- that's no fun mom, you'll just be you.
thanks son.
But this was what I told him I'd do.
" I'll wear ALL of my Mommy hats, all on my suit."

I would be, all at once ,

* a maid ~ for all the cleaning
*a chauffeur ~ for all the driving , schools and playdates and activities and exploring
*a secretary ~ for being able to keep track of four schedules and make sure all are on track
*a nurse ~ to know when you're sick, or hurt, and what to do to make it better, as quick as possible.
*a cook~ to prepare the most nutritious, and tasty meals you could eat.
*a teacher ~ to teach you not only schoolwork, but about the entire world and everything in it .
*a playmate ~ for those days when you just need someone to throw the ball back.
*a counsler~ to provide support and advice when you feel troubled.
*a bodyguard/ chaperone ~ making sure you're always safe
*a handyman ~ to best fix everything and anything at any time.
*an interior designer~ to be sure you have the coolest bedroom space to be YOU in
*a pet groomer ~ because no matter how much you promise, you will occasionally forget to feed or clean the animals you begged to have.
*a landscaper~ to help you with the flowers and plants you'd like in your gardens
*a referee ~ Moms with more than one child know this- you have to break it up.
*a photographer ~ to catch some moments to look back at, or just to let you ham it up.
* a teddy bear ~ because sometimes you just need to be held n cuddled.

Moms fill all of these hats simutaneously. I'd really hate to be the one who gets a bill for all of these services, 24/7 , every day of the year , for the rest of my life, even at the cheapest rates for each. ( it would also be great if we could add this list to our resumes, in the event we do get to work outside of home, right ladies ? )

But, we DO get paid.

We get paid in precious moments of "uh- oooooh" , and "why?"
.
we get paid with the first and last flowers of spring- tenderly chosen and picked, and presented with love. . . to be put into vases, even if they are weeds that make us sneeze for 3 days.

We get paid in even frustrating moments of "are we there yet?" and "I want that!"
We get paid in laughter, giggles, tickles and silly dances .
We get paid with frogs and mudpies.
We get paid in excitement , the first to be told something great that happened at school.
We get paid in pride, to see our children grow and exel, and become incredible characters.
We also get paid in the pride they feel in themselves at thier accomplishments.

We get paid even in blood and tears- because when they are present, we are the ones who are called to duty to make it all better with cuddles and love, and the many boxes of bandaids and tissues.

We get paid with truckloads of paintings, pictures and 'pencilholders' , decorated perfectly with love.

Above all, we get paid with hugs and kisses, and unconditional love from a being we brought to life through our bodies, and nurtured into these extremely busy, curious, hopeful, loving little people. We get paid through the knowledge that they need us, and us them.

Mommies, next time you've had "one of those days" , that just seem to go wrong from the start ,and you look around your home and see your childrens shoes, jackets and books scattered everywhere it seems you've 'just' cleaned, again, and you can hear them all giggling carelessly in a messy bedroom overrulled by toys and clothes, and think maybe you've just had enough. . .

remember, those kids are in there giggling because they are happy in your world. they may make messes, they may fight , they may argue with you until you just want to give in.... but they do it because they are yours, and you are thiers. The world would not be better another way, because you can't imagine what you'd do without them.

Sure, its easy to think " but I'd be able to go out with friends, have more vacations that are actually stress-free, I could eat popcorn for dinner every night " ..... but you're horribly wrong.

Without your children, you would be the one asking " well, why don't you work?" to Moms who don't, because without our kids, we'd all be workaholics to make up for that big empty space of time.

When you're stressed to the max, and you take a moment for yourself to try to fight back the frustration, Mommy, you even get paid when you think you've had enough. You get paid when your baby comes to you gently and hugs you, maybe pats your back and says " it'll be ok mama."
Every mama out there knows, this moment gives you that burst of " yes , it will be ok, because I have you. I can do this."

I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd cash in any of my Mommy paychecks for all the money in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to add to this post- for most women its not just the frustration on every day routines with kids, but also with husbands. another hat we wear is that of the best friend, lover, wife. These hats can add up just as quickly. having a perfectly harmonious marriage is just about unheard of- so ups and downs contribute emotionally to the stresses with our children.

And, I also want to add, for the Mommies who are out there doing it single- big kudos to you ladies! Its hard to be a parent with a partner, and its hard to go it alone.

We all have our support teams- husbands, other mommies, co workers, friends..... and they will all tell us the same thing.....

We are needed, and we are very much loved for all we do.

that ladies.... is priceless..

Just not what it used to be....

Happy Halloween 2010!

Oh, how I love halloween! The creativity of costumes, the dressing up, and of course, the collection of candy !

I don't think of myself as "old". I go and play on Halloween with the kids, and we have a blast.
But it's just not the same.

I'm not aware of when it all changed.

When we were kids, we'd dress up, and gather with all the neighbor kids on someones front lawn- I mean 10 to 15 kids, from age 6 to 12-14.we had quite the 'block" . On top of that, we would all also have an exta personal pal or two to go with us. we'd have one or two parents along, who usually got left behind or split up, and no one panicked, because all of us kids stayed together, and knew where to go.
door to door , we even trick or treated our own houses!

These evenings usually ended on another lawn, costume masks and capes tossed around, jackets scattered, and the trading and snacking of candy all over the place.

the next morning of course we'd all meet there again, at the demand of our parents, and walk up and down the street collecting the wrappers.

I understand that times have changed. . . parents are waaay paranoid, and being one myself, rightfully so. there are reports of crazies pulling children into thier homes, picking them up off the road, putting harmful items into the candies...

these things were happening "back in the day" as well , just perhaps not as well known. We were all very trusting of our neighbors, because we did everything as a community.

These days, people keep to themselves, the kids are all but secluded in paranoia.

They load up into parents trucks and vans, and ride from house to house.( the case here because the houses are miles apart!) the parents looking down each sidestreet, desperately hoping to see more than one porch light lit. ( and there are few, as all the people with kids have left to share the same mission,leaving no one to give out goodies)

When this becomes too much for the wired out excited children, the parents seek "trunk and treat" events. This is actually a good idea. The churches, & community centers decorate their cars and vans for halloween, fill their tunks with candy, and park in well lit parking lots. the kids go 'trunk to trunk" .
The problem I have with this, is that parents end up driving all over town to get to each of these events before they close down. Many times its a repeated mission of find the event, and get there AS they close down because they are out of candy already.

back to the porch light search, and then to relatives' homes, hoping they're home so the kids can knock on just one door.

It almost becomes more of a seek n search mission.

Husband and I have decided we will be creating our own halloween event here at the nuthouse in years to come. we will set up spooky trails, craft tables, games, and of course, trick or treating.

Welcome Lyla !

Our dog, Huey, had a run-in with a truck back in september, and he lost. We were all very upset by the loss of him.
My daughter primarily, she loved that dog to no end. he was her "baby", and in turn he adored her as well.
There's a huge diffence between loosing a dog to age, and loosing a dog suddenly, by accident.
With age, you somewhat know the end is coming, and prepare yourself emotionally for the loss.
With an accident, there's no warning, no signs, no goodbyes, no preparing . its a nasty shock.

The kids took it really hard, but tried so hard to be "big" about it. They helped to bury him, ( we had wrapped him, as we didn't think the kids should have seen him post-truck) they pitched in to buy the chain for his site...

Daughter would talk to me eevry night about it. She misses him. she would get herself to tears every time.
wednesday night, when I tucked her in, she asked if she could talk to me about something, "pretty serious".
of course !

" I don't think I'm going to make a wish list this Christmas, Mom. Just tell Santa that I don't care about all the toys n other stuff. All I want him to bring me is a dog."

Oh people. If i could find one word to explain how this tore at my heart....

We talked about it, and she explained " I don't need the toys because I could play with the dog, and it would mean so much more because it is playing with love, not just a plastic toy. toys don't comfort you or cuddle, and they don't lick your face when you're sad. A dog does all that, and I'd feel alot better because it would be a friend."

I told my husband about this talk, and he just nodded a little. I thought that odd, I was sure he'd have something to say. We agreed we would wait to get another dog though, probably until spring. ( we both knew we'd cave by christmas, especially now!)

Friday, I go out to run my errands in town. I live outside of town ,and drive a very thirsty SUV. So to avoid gas issues, I only go once or twice a week, and make multiple stops. This is a peeve of husbands, on the few occasions i do go for just one stop.

I make my first stop, at the library to make returns. As I get back into the truck my phone rings.

"where are you?" husband asks.
I'm at the library, just running errands. whats up?

"ooooh no.really? you're all the way out there?
um, ok... well, um how long will you be?"

I have to do the post office and the store... what do you need hon?

"oooh. . . uh... well i guess i could.... ugh, man.... um... Well i can't leave... um...can you come back? I have to meet with a customer."

what ???
where are you, and why can't you leave?

"I'm at home. hell, sorry , you're gonna have to come back so I can go."
WHY?

"well uuuh I got you something, and um... you need to just come home. "

oh God. is it alive?
"I uh, ..." click.

uh oh. this can't be an appliance he's fund, because he wouldn't have a problem leaving a sink ,or a dishwasher.

When I get home, there is a very pretty girl in the doorway.
a tall, lean, brown eyed , cutie.
Lyla is a 7 month old shepard mix.
She was rescued by one of husband's customers.

Husband , aka dr.dolittle, worked at her home on a leak under the house. Lyla had welcomed him, and stayed with him, even under the house.
the customer asked if he wanted her, and well.... he got soft. brought her home, "to show the wife"

yeah right. she had him wrapped around her big ol paw before he had finished fixing the leak.

He only got lucky in the fact that Lyla is a beautiful pup, and so well behaved ..
She is a very BIG pup, but amazingly seems to know her size and yes, weight. she's very agile.

Of course, the kids were tickled silly with her, and she loved playing with them... which sealed the deal.

The Nuthouse feels 'full' again, my Daughter has gotten much happier, and can discuss Huey without so much hurt.. . she seems whole again.

to me thats priceless in itself.

We have alot of training work to do with Lyla, ( she is trained, but will have to adjust to US giving the commands) but we all agree that she seems to belong here.

Welcome to the Nuthouse Lyla...

Huey, we miss you bub.