my tradtional holiday vent

yes, i know i said this blog wasn't for venting, but this may prove to be just as amusing as Nuthouse events as well. after all, I am a resident of said Nuthouse for a very good reason. Though, it may be time to look into better security. Seems I may be getting out too much.

Oh yes, the holiday season is upon us. 10 days until christmas and the shopping crunch begins. We live in what I consider to be a very small town, (remember my comparisons include places like the overpopulated Florida, and New York) and so, the store choices leave MUCH to be desired.

Our biggest and sadly, "best" option for holiday shopping is Wal-Mart. I say sadly, because since WalMart has become the giant superstore for one stop shopping, thier service, and product variety has declined horribly.

some examples of said declines ?

This giant corporation expanded its stores, yet neglected to expand STAFF. You can go shopping for everything you need, groceries, clothes, toys, all in one tiny cart. Being that we live out of town, we do bulk shopping. I have been known to fill two carts on my own , with two small children in tow. On these glorious rare events, I am expected to bag all of these items myself (if I can't keep up with the cashier, they don't HELP, they stand and glare until there is space for them to continue) .Once the two carts are stacked with all the bags, I am somehow expected to push both carts, complete with two small children across the parking lot to my car on my own. If I request help, I'm told they have no one to do it. (not that they attempt to find anyone)

sorry folks- this peeves me. I just spent more money in one spot than I even see all year, and they can't help me to the car? I've lived in CITIES and shopped at poor mom/pop shops that make sure they bag your items,and you get help out, even if the cashier themselves have to close the registers to do so. This is a multi- million dollar corporation, and they can't extend this simple courtesy? They pay multiple people to stand outside and inside the doors to make sure you have a cart, need it or not, and a cheerful hello, but can't hire people to bag items or help to cars??

Again a staff issue here : each department has its own staff, to stock shelves and be helpful assistance if you can't find something. each of these staff members get 2 or 3 aisles to care for.
Why then, is it seemingly IMPOSSIBLE to find one of the helpful associates? You stand in the aisle, looking lost and confused, and no one shows up. however, if you know what you need and where it is, they flock to you, one after another, to make sure you've found what you need, even after you're holding it.

The "need help" crisis is amusing in itself. no one comes. You find one of those buttons they have which convieniently pages said helpful associate to their department for customer assistance. IF the associate is paying attention, they may arrive in the next half hour. Once they do and you ask them about what you need, either the store doesn't carry it, or they have NO idea what you are even talking about!

This is what I was faced with on my holiday "stakeout" . Rather than go blindly from store to store snatching items off shelves, I do a "dry run", take notes of prices in stores and then figure the best way to do the actual shopping. (this actually saves us a ton of money) .

I was looking for a Lego kit. simple enough. I go to the aisle with the lego products, and all I see are duplos, and the lego bionicle kits, or star wars kits- neither of which is what my 5 year old has asked for. he has asked for the Pirate ship. (available in stores now!) WalMart 's lego shelves had virtually NO legos! (besides of course the sets we already have)

I look for one of our handy helpful associates. no luck. I push the pager button. and begin the wait. amazingly this particular staff member broke the 30 minute record with a 20 minute one."can I help you?"
well, yea, thats why I pushed the button 20 minutes ago. I'm looking for Lego kits. I was hoping for the pirate ship set, but at this point , I'd be happy with whatever you guys are getting.
"getting?"
yes getting, They ARE going to restock these shelves with actual legos this week right?
"uuuum... legos?"
yea LEGOS.
well we have these- and shows me the twelve dozen duplo kits, among the rows of empty lego shelves.
no, I need LEGOS. I show him the star wars kit- you know, like these, only a pirate ship, or a little town...
Kid looks at me like I'm on drugs.
"these are legos. "
you don't have kids do you? those aren't legos. legos are much smaller, and come in kits for older children than the 2 year olds that duplos are made for.
I get the look again.
ok kiddo- back to square one. I point to the empty shelves, and say" these are labeled for lego sets. these are empty. you work in this department right?"
yea
"ok. will these shelves be restocked with legos at some point before christmas?"
I dunno.

'wow. you've been VERY helpful. thank you soooo much."

I continued my price seeking and repeatedly had problems finding items, which were advertised from the store- and every time I asked, the helpful associate had no clue what I was talking about.

I asked a MANAGER as well, who also gave me replies that didn't answer any of my questions, and didn't know what half of the requested items were - from thier own ads!

So , after an amazingly frustrating 2 hours in the "superstore that has it all" , finding nothing I needed, I left the store, joyfully skipping past the manager, the dopey helpful associates, and other frustrated shoppers, singing my wal-mart song.
"we hate the wal-mart .. .we hate the wal-mart... we hate the walmart 'cuz THEY SUCK!!!"
This is not the first time I have followed this tradition. And I'm also pretty sure my song was enjoyed by other shoppers as they watched, some smiling, some laughing, and some even gave me a thumbs up, a sure signal that I was not the only patron in the store that wished it to explode.
I've made it a point over the past few years to avoid the wal-mart at all costs. But like I said, store options are minimal in my area, and for the holidays I am forced to deal with it.

ok, well.... depending on how you look at it, perhaps they are forced to deal with me.

A common sense 'vent'.

When I started this blog, I planned to use the humorous events in the nuthouse. I wasn't planning to use it as a 'venting' space. So far I've done well. Today I'm going to do a little venting though. I've been told I've explained some of the disastrous events in good humor, (such as the anniversary fiasco!) so this should be interesting.

This has been a pretty busy week at the nuthouse . I've been running constantly, and buried in paperwork, along with the nuthouse 'maintenance', and the care of its residents. With all on my to-do list when I wake up, and more added almost hourly, I've had moments of being a bit frazzled with time crunches. Its made me a bit intolerant of some little things, and the more I think about it, the more each seems to be a 'common sense' issue. (or lack thereof).

**Just this morning I came across such an issue. The children were ready for school earlier than usual, and wanted to have breakfast at school. I took them in, and was stunned when I saw what they had on thier trays. Son had a slice of pizza, a bowl of cereal, and chocolate milk. Daughter had pizza and chocolate milk. Pizza?? YES. Pizza! for breakfast ! ! It looked about 2 days old .

Much of the common sense issue here speaks for itself. How many of you parents have ever given your kids pizza for breakfast? I'd like to know how many of the school staff have as well. In comparison to how many kids they fed it to this morning, I'm sure the number of parents and staff would be pitiful.

**I've spent many hours each day crunching numbers for Husband's business as well. Folks, I hate math. I do not get along with numbers, even on my best day. 3 days, I was buried in numbers, and figures. As frustrating as that is to start with, many interruptions occured.

A neighbor suddenly became very chatty, more than the usual. texting me and calling, for seemingly no reason at all. "what are you doing?" I'm working! "ooooh, do you know what my crazy cat did?"
Nope, I don't. ten minutes of what the cat got into, then it turns into "what should I have for lunch?" Gee, I don't know, but I'm busy, so I'll talk to you later.

You have to know , she called me ten minutes later to tell me what she decided to have for lunch.

**One of the advantages to working from home, is the concept of peace to get it done. The children are in school, Husband at work. There is time to do it, and supposedly few distractions. Its funny how this actually works though. Because people know you're home, they think you are available. Home and work just aren't as widely associated as work and the 'office'. As a result, the phone rings constantly, ( what cha doooin?") and people stop by out of the blue. Many of my calls are requests for a ride ,errands, reminders to make calls.

It doesn't matter how many times I explain, from 8am to 2pm, I am working. I cannot simply drop everything to run here or there, just because I'm home. I have my schedule, appointments, and heaps of paperwork for two businesses, and the nuthouse itself. There are a few people who don't even realize that I am working. If I say I'm working, they assume I mean with just house chores. no, I have WORK to do. "what work?".

Its tempting to just turn the phones off during those hours, but running two businesses without phones for 6 hours would be damaging.

** The texting craze is another common sense issue this week. I noticed that many people cannot resist opening the message as soon as it beeps. Somehow because I don't have a problem with letting it wait, folks react. . . by sending more texts. If I'm working, or doing dishes, the last thing I'm worried about is that text. If its an emergency, I'd think pushing an autodial would be easier than spelling out a text. what I get is like the following.

"hi howz ur day"... (I am to my elbows in dog bath,and do not stop to check the text.)
"r u ok?"... ( trying to hold the dog in the tub- not checking a text)
"do u want 2 go 2 lunch?"... ( rinsing dog- guess what? still haven't touched the phone, possibly haven't even heard it)
"r u mad at me?" ... (these are approximatly 40 seconds apart now)
"call me k?"
"y u not reply?"
"hello?"
"call me"

This is when the texter will generally give up ,and actually CALL. This is also when my frustration level bottoms out, because, thinking it could be a business call, I have to answer it.
"You're mad at me aren't you?"
I wasn't but I am getting there really fast!
This is even more fun if I'm at an appointment, or driving.. The common sense, again, speaks for itself.

** Most likely because of the crazy schedule this week, it seems the children have joined in the fun.
They seem to be echoing each other more. Son will ask for candy 5 minutes before dinner, with sister by his side. no you may not have candy, we're having dinner soon. As he leaves the kitchen, Daughter will also ask for candy.
Didn't you hear what I told your brother? "Yes"
Then why are you asking me the same thing? Did you really expect a different answer?

**A big theory recently is that if you ask repeatedly ,the answer will change.
I find this amusing, because in fact, once the children are given an answer, it very rarely, if ever ,changes. I often tell them that the more they ask me, the less likely I am to change my mind.
Yet they will ask. over and over. occassionally every few moments. how about now? can I now? how about later? The answer was, is, and will stay NO.
The really amusing part is that several of the adults I know also believe in this theory.

I have been eyeballing small spaces for rent around town. A space to keep the businesses in, and a space for me to escape to work. Doesn't something about that just seem... off ? I suppose I would refer to it as The Nuthouse Isolation Chamber.

I don't think that will work , son.

I have recently decided, AGAIN, to make yet another attempt to quit smoking. . . those who know me , well, you've seen firsthand this is a pitiful issue.

for those who don't know me, well, I've tried it ALL> the patches, gums, my doctor gave me chantix- which honestly I thought was going to kill me . (THATs why it works?!) It was great for controlling my cravings, but I was so horribly ill, I couldn't do much of anything else either.

since recently declaring my rediscovered desire to quit-my children have been full of ideas. chewing straws, gum, and things like that.

my son was watching TV the other night, and as i walked through the room, he says to me "Mama! I know now! If you want to stop smoking, I'll get you that newaring.

newring?what?

Son points to the TV- "that mama- it makes you stop smoking"

I look to the tube, and see a Nuvaring commercial. they had just finished stating that women who use Nuvaring should not smoke, due to risk of blood clots.

Folks, my son was suggesting a birth control to get me to stop smoking.

I had to find a way to explain to the 5 year old boy that Nuvaring was NOT a smoke cessation aid.

"but mama, it said no smoking if you take it"

well, hon thats because if you smoke with some medicine it makes problems with your blood.

"you don't want blood problems mom. so you should take this and stop smoking."

great reasoning son.

only problem is Nuvaring is birth control- it makes it so women can't have babies until they are ready to. it doesn't have anything to do with smoking.

"but you don't want more babies mama. "

yea. got me there.

no, mama doesn't need more babies, but I don't need medicine for it either, because I had surgery to stop from getting pregnant."

"ooooh. ok."

and off he went to figure out another plan.