Age reversals

ok ok i admit it. I am on a strange "age" kick lately. but at least its somewhat amusing right?

apparently i'm not the only one.

not long ago a friend said she couldn't wait, for the weekend ahead.
She craved to be free of her long busy, chaotic workweek, and looked forward to a nice dull weekend of relaxing.

This struck me.

It struck me, because not too long ago , we were all anxious for the workweek to end because it was long and boring, and the weekends were filled with the chaos and craziness that got us through the following week.

oh, when did this reversal take place ?!

I found myself thinking the same way- while taking the kids to thier extra classes 2 days a week, having to return to the school twice a week, trying to cram in homework and dinners, showers and playtime....on top of chores,paperwork...yes. our Nuthouse weeks are full of chaos.

and weekends- aaah. our weekends are full of days at home, no having to rush and run here n there, (unless preplanned) blissful lounging in front of a movie, a day full of board games or silly stories.
on weekends we feel "motivated", its yardwork, at our own pace, as we feel to do so.

yet not long ago, we dredged through school days ,and later to after school jobs, where we hoped the week would just END. ( although, some of us made those after school jobs quite amusing)

it seemed any time that last bell rang, we were out and about and our souls were released for the evening (after homework of course ) to do as we would.

Weekends were the free for alls. off with pals , doing "God only knows what or how we survived it", to return to manday morning at our respectable institutions as zombies.

that was fun!

what the hell happened ???

the Mommy Curse

Every child who has a Mommy, will eventually hear it.
"when you grow up, your kids will be just like you, good and bad! "

As a teen , I found this amusing.
As a stepmother, it started to get me a little.
As a pregnant mommy-to-be, it terrified me.

As a mother of 3 , yes, i can tell you, the Mother's Curse is no joke.

My children are showing all the signs of every battle I ever fought with my own Mother, with twice the enthusiasm I could ever muster to throw at my own Mother. (now i find it a shame I wasted all of that great energy, as I have little to deal with what the curse has dropped upon me !)

Since we're on the topic of Moms, yes, it is also true that we all 'become' our Mothers. we pick up their funny little words, thier favorite "no " lines. . . after all, it worked on us right ?

At 9 and 6, my children have indeed , inherited the Mother's curse.
I made sure of it.

we had quite an enlightening discussion about the topic.

My daughter is convinced, that no way will HER kids EVER be bad in any way shape or form. (i almost wish her luck in this, as she can make millions from the "children who never cry whine or beg")

I told her ALL kids act up, especially to mama. her kids will too, i PROMISE.

"no mama my kids will listen and be good all the time. "

ok, but the mother's curse has a backup plan, even for the perfect angels .

its called ...

GRANDMA.
the origin of the curse on your head.

I had to educate my daughter about this.

see dear, your children WILL act up. They WILL shove every possible belonging they have under the bed. they WILL draw on the walls. They WILL use your hairbrush to clean the toilet, they WILL indeed throw huge fits in the stores...

yes. they will.

why?
because when you have children, they will have a Grandma who knows what YOU did.
they will have a Grandma to teach them well in the ways of "make mommy crazy today"

I will personally pick them up for spoil-filled candy crazed days in the park, and drop them off filthy, exhausted, and sugar wired out of their little minds for you to clean up, wind down and get to bed.
I will personally ask them what toy they want, and if they say "Mama said we can't have it" it becomes thiers on the spot.
I will also guarantee no toy from grandma will be quiet. They will ALL make noises, and there will be NO volume or off options.

And the best part is, I won't even do it on behalf of the Mother's Curse.
I will do it, becasue thats simply what Grandma's DO.

My daughter, at 9 years old, has declared I will never see my grandchildren without supervision.

My SON, upon hearing this, asks his sister, " hey sissy, can they come and visit me??"

of course, she replies, because you'll be a daddy too.

Son leans in close to me and whispers ( which is hardly a true whisper- you can probably hear him in the next town)
" mama when sissy's kids come to my house to visit, i can call you, and then if you visit ME, you can't be in trouble just cause her kids are there, but you'll see them."

made me proud, and terrified at the same time.
proud he'd help me out like that, yet terrified he can plan so well already.

Besides, I said, when i get too old to take care of myself, you guys will have to help me out,take care of me. (you don't get out that easy Sissy!!)

but, she has a plan in place for this as well.

Daughter informed me, that she plans to marry a doctor. this way They will have enough money to put me into "a nice place to take care" of me, and when they visit, her husband will be sweet enough to check me out to make sure they are taking care of me right.

well. how completely , totally thoughtful of you dear.

while i am contemplating a futute where i am placed into an old folks home, having my son in law do exam visits, and not seeing my grandchildren, Son leans in yet again.

he whispers "
mama, don't you worry. I'LL be your doctor and you can come live with me, and I'LL take good care of you... we'll invite sissy's kids to play all the time.

well. now THATS more like it.

I do have to sit back and wonder what my future in the hands of my 'cursed' children will bring me.

from what I hear so far, I 'll never have a problem with finding a good doctor.

But apparently , I'll have to keep my wits about me so I can trick my daughter into allowing me to see my grandchildren.

Mommies wear all the hats !

As a child care provider, I had to attend many trainings regularly. These were very creative sessions , with different perspectives on the 'job'.
At one particular session, the trainer said that as providers, we had to wear many hats. We were caregivers of daily needs, such as meals,and changings, playmates for games, teachers of new experiences, nurses to know when the children weren't feeling well, secretaries regarding all the paperwork....

Since becoming a Mother, I've been in many conversations which included "why don't you work?"

Moms, you know how this goes. We DO work, and hard at that.

Several Moms I know now are having some busy times, and it can get overwhelming, very quickly. Even Moms stand back from time to time and the ponder "what was I thinking?"
This blog entry is dedicated to those Moms, and any other who happen across it, because we ALL have those times.

My son and I recently had a chat about all the hats a MOM wears. We were discussing Halloween costumes for next year. He loves my "mommy" costumes. one year I wore my bathrobe and disheveled hair, some blacker under my eyes- tired mama. Another year I was Zommy- a zombie mommy. that one was a bit spookier, but still certainly got the point across!

I told him my costume next year would be a REAL mommy.
He vetoed it immediately- that's no fun mom, you'll just be you.
thanks son.
But this was what I told him I'd do.
" I'll wear ALL of my Mommy hats, all on my suit."

I would be, all at once ,

* a maid ~ for all the cleaning
*a chauffeur ~ for all the driving , schools and playdates and activities and exploring
*a secretary ~ for being able to keep track of four schedules and make sure all are on track
*a nurse ~ to know when you're sick, or hurt, and what to do to make it better, as quick as possible.
*a cook~ to prepare the most nutritious, and tasty meals you could eat.
*a teacher ~ to teach you not only schoolwork, but about the entire world and everything in it .
*a playmate ~ for those days when you just need someone to throw the ball back.
*a counsler~ to provide support and advice when you feel troubled.
*a bodyguard/ chaperone ~ making sure you're always safe
*a handyman ~ to best fix everything and anything at any time.
*an interior designer~ to be sure you have the coolest bedroom space to be YOU in
*a pet groomer ~ because no matter how much you promise, you will occasionally forget to feed or clean the animals you begged to have.
*a landscaper~ to help you with the flowers and plants you'd like in your gardens
*a referee ~ Moms with more than one child know this- you have to break it up.
*a photographer ~ to catch some moments to look back at, or just to let you ham it up.
* a teddy bear ~ because sometimes you just need to be held n cuddled.

Moms fill all of these hats simutaneously. I'd really hate to be the one who gets a bill for all of these services, 24/7 , every day of the year , for the rest of my life, even at the cheapest rates for each. ( it would also be great if we could add this list to our resumes, in the event we do get to work outside of home, right ladies ? )

But, we DO get paid.

We get paid in precious moments of "uh- oooooh" , and "why?"
.
we get paid with the first and last flowers of spring- tenderly chosen and picked, and presented with love. . . to be put into vases, even if they are weeds that make us sneeze for 3 days.

We get paid in even frustrating moments of "are we there yet?" and "I want that!"
We get paid in laughter, giggles, tickles and silly dances .
We get paid with frogs and mudpies.
We get paid in excitement , the first to be told something great that happened at school.
We get paid in pride, to see our children grow and exel, and become incredible characters.
We also get paid in the pride they feel in themselves at thier accomplishments.

We get paid even in blood and tears- because when they are present, we are the ones who are called to duty to make it all better with cuddles and love, and the many boxes of bandaids and tissues.

We get paid with truckloads of paintings, pictures and 'pencilholders' , decorated perfectly with love.

Above all, we get paid with hugs and kisses, and unconditional love from a being we brought to life through our bodies, and nurtured into these extremely busy, curious, hopeful, loving little people. We get paid through the knowledge that they need us, and us them.

Mommies, next time you've had "one of those days" , that just seem to go wrong from the start ,and you look around your home and see your childrens shoes, jackets and books scattered everywhere it seems you've 'just' cleaned, again, and you can hear them all giggling carelessly in a messy bedroom overrulled by toys and clothes, and think maybe you've just had enough. . .

remember, those kids are in there giggling because they are happy in your world. they may make messes, they may fight , they may argue with you until you just want to give in.... but they do it because they are yours, and you are thiers. The world would not be better another way, because you can't imagine what you'd do without them.

Sure, its easy to think " but I'd be able to go out with friends, have more vacations that are actually stress-free, I could eat popcorn for dinner every night " ..... but you're horribly wrong.

Without your children, you would be the one asking " well, why don't you work?" to Moms who don't, because without our kids, we'd all be workaholics to make up for that big empty space of time.

When you're stressed to the max, and you take a moment for yourself to try to fight back the frustration, Mommy, you even get paid when you think you've had enough. You get paid when your baby comes to you gently and hugs you, maybe pats your back and says " it'll be ok mama."
Every mama out there knows, this moment gives you that burst of " yes , it will be ok, because I have you. I can do this."

I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd cash in any of my Mommy paychecks for all the money in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to add to this post- for most women its not just the frustration on every day routines with kids, but also with husbands. another hat we wear is that of the best friend, lover, wife. These hats can add up just as quickly. having a perfectly harmonious marriage is just about unheard of- so ups and downs contribute emotionally to the stresses with our children.

And, I also want to add, for the Mommies who are out there doing it single- big kudos to you ladies! Its hard to be a parent with a partner, and its hard to go it alone.

We all have our support teams- husbands, other mommies, co workers, friends..... and they will all tell us the same thing.....

We are needed, and we are very much loved for all we do.

that ladies.... is priceless..